Whatever
by UrBeautifulFairie
Summary: During a visit to her boyfriend's house Rin is raped by his older brother and finds out she is pregnant. Will she ever have a happy ending with the man she loves? Or will she be able to move on with her child? True Story
1. Broken

My story, slightly changed though

Whatever- chapter 1

By Rix Baez

Rin (14) walked up the steps to her boyfriend, Sesshoumaru's (17) house she knocked three times and he answered the door but appeared to be leaving "Oh hey Rin, but can you wait for me I have to go to the doctors office for a while" he said "Sure, but how long?" Rin asked taking her jacket off "about an hour and forty five" he said "Ok then I'll be playing play station in your room" Rin laughed and pecked him on the cheek. She sat in his room and heard him lock the door behind him.

Rin was playing for only a little while when Sesshoumaru's older brother Naraku (18) came in and sat dangerously close to her "Hey Rin, how are you?" he asked "I'm fine" Rin said getting a weird chill down her spine and not the good kind. "Are you a virgin?" he asked this made her uncomfortable but she nodded. "Oh" he said and put his hand on her upper thigh she stood and walked to the other side of the room leaning on a wall. Naraku walked toward her and pulled her small body to his and kissed her shoving his tongue in forcefully she pushed him away and went for the door, she found it was locked and he was holding the key her russet eyes filled with tears.

Naraku grabbed her and threw her on his brothers bed and then got on her sitting on her legs and abdomen so she couldn't get away he ripped open her white blouse his cold hands caressed her sides softly then he reached over kissing her and un hooking her bra and pulled away "Naraku stop this! Please Stop!" Rin yelled tears falling down her face he moved down and cut her skirt off then ripped her underwear downward. He flipped her over and positioned himself at her entrance "Please Naraku, Stop  
! Please! Please! I am too young for this! Please" she whimpered then ignoring her he thrust into her he was there for hour just climaxing around four times she lay there sobbing into the bed he left her there after he got up. "Tell anyone and I'll kill you and isn't funny that you lost your virginity to your boyfriends brother on your boyfriends bed" Naraku laughed walking out. Rin sat behind the door wearing one of her boyfriends big shirts.


	2. Pregnant?

_**Hi I am back with chapter two and with some answers to the questions I have been asked.**_

**_Kyogue-_****_ Thank you for your review, and yes it is a true story, I was raped at the age of fourteen by my ex boyfriend's older brother who was eighteen at the time and his name was Jared he is in jail right now though._**

**_Wolf-Inu-Yasha38_****_-I know and I am sorry about that so anyone else reading this I am going to change the rating to M. thank you for the review._**

**_And to the rest of you guys _****_albr62_****_Sesshys-mate-Shinea_****_, Atoyo-sama, _****_dadslittleangel13_****_. Thanks and here is Chapter 2_**

_**Pregnant?**_

Rin was crying softly behind the door rocking back and forth like a baby that was caught in trouble. A little while later she heard Sesshoumaru come in the door her eyes widened when she heard his footsteps growing near her hiding spot. "Rin…What's wrong?" he said after finding her behind the door, she didn't answer just kept her gaze to the floor and let the tears fall. "Rin are you okay? Why are you crying? Tell me you can tell me anything" he said softly she still didn't answer or even look in to his honey coated eyes. Naraku came in and her body tensed up visibly "Naraku what did you do to her?" Sesshoumaru asked angrily "Just gave her what she was begging for, Right Rin?" he said. Rin truly fearing for her life nodded she looked into Sesshoumaru's eyes which had become frozen cold. Naraku left the room saying "I'll Inuyasha to take her home to the Higurashi Shrine".

Sesshoumaru didn't even look at her, Rin felt like trash used and thrown away the lowest scum on the planet. Rin ran out of the room bumping into Inuyasha and falling backwards on her butt "Hey Rin, you needed a ride home so I called you a taxi it's outside" he said to her she just ran past him and into the taxi and "Hey Hun you look like you've been through hell and back so I won't charge you for this one" the woman taxi driver said "Thank you, I'm Rin" she said "Hey Rin, I'm Lea, I'm going to give you my private number to call me because you look like you might need help judging by the looks of it I will probably be able to help you, I mean I can t tell you have had something taken and trust me, if you need anything you can call me" Lea said giving Rin the number. "Thank you" she said and hopped out of the cab running into the shrine and to her room she locked the door.

Since no one was home she didn't have to go through the questions meaning she wouldn't be forced to tell the secret that right now held her life in the balance. Rin walked into her bathroom and took off the big shirt that belonged to her once boyfriend, Sesshoumaru. She looked at the bruises on her legs from Naraku . Rin stepped into the shower letting the warm water run over her body. She scrubbed her body roughly trying to wash the filth she felt away, but it didn't work she sat in the shower scrubbing while crying. She finished deciding she wouldn't feel clean ever again her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Rin put on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top and threw herself on her bed she let the tears come and she fell asleep before anyone came home. Even her sleep he wouldn't leave her alone.

_ Rin was in her school bathroom coming out of a stall when, his haunting laughs pierced her ears "Rin I'm not finished with you" he said pulling her back into the stall and touching her all over "Get Off of me" she screamed he pulled her underwear down and pulled her skirt up and as he was about to enter her…Bang Bang BANG_

Rin woke up to the sound of banging on her door, she was covered in sweat and silent tears had been trailing down her cheeks. "What do you want?" she asked her voice was raspy from screaming "Rin it's me Kagome, You were screaming you head off! Are you all right!" Kagome yelled worriedly "Yea I'm fine, Just a nightmare" Rin said through the door. "Ok call me if you need anything, Rin" Kagome said. "Okay" she said and went to lay in the bed staring at the ceiling to afraid to go back to sleep to meet the nightmares but sleep took her. This time her sleep was restless and dreamless. She just cried and slept and drank water from the sink for a couple days refusing to come out of her room.

"Rin open up the door! You need to eat! Why are you doing this to us we are all worried about you please come out" Kagome begged Rin opened the door silently standing there she had lost a couple of pounds she looked sick. "Kagome I really don't need this right now" she said "You need to pull your self together and tell us what is wrong with you! Stop acting like a little girl" Kagome snapped "OH I AM NOT ACTING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, MY CHILD HOOD WAS RIPPED AWAY FROM ME, AND YOUR TELLING ME TO PULL MY SELF TOGETHER AFTER I WAS RAPED, OKAY THERE NOW YOU KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME OKAY I AM SORRY FOR BEING A LITTLE SELFISH, YOU TRY BEING RAPED AND HAVE SOMEONE TELL YOU TO PULL YOUR SELF TO FUCKING GETHER" Rin yelled breaking down into tears Kagome gasped and hugged her whispering "I'm so sorry Rin…I didn't know…I didn't know…everything will be alright…who was it who did this to you". "I can't tell you..." Rin said pulling away and wiping her tears away. Kagome convinced Rin to come down and eat, but she threw it all up "Kagome…" Rin said "Yea Rin" Kagome said "What if I am pregnant?" she said "Don't worry Rin We'll support each other together I'll get a double shift at the pharmacy" Kagome said hugging her little sister.

"No, if I am I'll move out, I don't want to ruin your life to" Rin said "You wouldn't be ruining my life, Rin" Kagome said "No Kagome you have too big of a heart, I know you and trust me, if I am I'll move out" Rin said "You will not, Rin. I will not let my little sister do this on her own when it wasn't even her fault" Kagome fought "Kagome, you're my by best friend and I thank you for everything you're doing" Rin said hugging her with tears streaming down both their cheeks. They pulled away from the hug and walked through the hospital doors. "Kagome I'm scared" Rin said with tear filled eyes "Don't worry I'll be here for you" Kagome said with her hand on Rin's shoulder but Kagome's hand was shaking as well.

Rin went and the doctors put a cold jelly around her abdominal area then put a sound motion detector on her flat stomach. There was a black screen and Rin was almost relieved "See there very small right now Ms. Higurashi but there is you baby's head and its very small body" the doctor said "Oh" Rin said softly she didn't know but there was this feeling inside that made her feel warm and tingly. But again her heart fell into depression; she was going to bring a piece of Naraku into the world. '_What if I can't love this baby because of its father? But it isn't the baby's fault it came this way, and I would never get rid of a baby. But what if it's just like him? What if it turns out to be just as sick and evil? But then there is that possibility it will be good and kind like Kagome' _Rin thought. "Rin are you alright you have been staring into space for ten minutes?" Kagome asked "Yea I was just thinking" she answered Kagome in a far off voice. "Hey you, want to go to Wac Donald's and get some food for my little niece?" Kagome asked talking to Rin's stomach "Kagome how are you so sure it's a girl?" Rin asked as a brief smile played on her lips. "Well because…Because…Because I know, and if I am right then I want to be God Mother" She said playfully "Hey Kagome how do you always manage to read my mind, you were my first pick for God Mother" Rin said.

"Wac Donald's it is" Kagome said laughing and pulling Rin off to the small fast food restaurant across the street "Kagome honestly when will you get over Wac Donald's" Rin stated "When I ask for them on my death bed" Kagome said sarcastically. "Okay you got me" Rin said they walked in and saw none other than Naraku and his whore Kagura. Rin pretended not to see him but the tears kept prickling at her eyes "Kagome I don't feel well can we leave and go back to the shrine for a while". They were leaving when a voice stopped them in there tracks "Hey Rin" came the haunting voice of Naraku.


	3. Facing A Nightmare & Getting A Job

Hey it's me and I am back and thank you for your wonderful reviews and again I will answer some questions I was asked. **First up is Kyogue- Rin got pregnant so did you get pregnant as well?** Yes I did get pregnant as well, I am seventeen now and my girl is going to turn three in June. Not all men are disgusting I've learned from my recovery group that men like Jared are disgusting. **Dadslittleangel13-Can Rin tell Sesshoumaru about Naraku? **Sesshoumaru being the stubborn cold prideful man he is, would refuse to believe her thinking she wanted him back, he would realize she was telling the truth too late. But I can't say everything or I'll let you all know what happens to my story**. Atoyo-Sama- **thank you for reviewing and I hope that he rots in hell also, don't cry I didn't want to make you cry, I am sorry. **Prof.Paranormal-**thanks you for the review and I will try to keep up the writing although I am not sure it's good. **Wolf-Inuyasha38**- Hi thanks and as promised it has been changed to rated M. Every body thank you for the reviews.

**Chapter 3- Facing your nightmare & getting a job**

"Hey Rin" came the haunting voice of Naraku, Rin turned around holding her tears in "Hi Naraku, how Sesshoumaru?" Rin asked softly "Oh here you can use my phone to call him…Oh that's right he broke up with you, I almost forgot" he said "Well Naraku we have to go, Rin isn't feeling well" Kagome said seeing the distress about the mention of Sesshoumaru "Well bye then" Naraku said as Kagome leading Rin out. "Thank you Kagome" Rin said still holding tears back "Rin its okay you can cry" Kagome said comfortingly Rin cried into Kagome's shoulder. On their way home Rin saw a little café with a help wanted sign in the window.

"Kagome, Can we go in here?" Rin asked looking at the red bricked building with ivy vines climbing up its left side. "What for Rin, if you don't feel well then we should get home as soon as possible so you can lay down" Kagome said "In a minute _mom_" Rin said walking in it was cozy, with a tan color on the walls and red leather armchairs and a small antique coffee table and another red loveseat on either side. The smell of coffee and pastries and cinnamon filled there noses and a short pudgy woman with red hair and brown eyes came up to them "Hello Dear's, Do you want a table?" the woman asked "Yes please" Rin said "Hello there Rin" the woman said adjusting her apron "Excuse me, How did you know my name?" Rin asked suspiciously "Don't tell me you forgot me now, It's Lea" she said "Oh I thought you were a taxi driver" Rin said "Oh well I was but I quit you see, just finished paying off the café so now its all mine and I will a decent living on it way better than when I was a taxi driver, that's why you have my number so you can call me and ask for a job" she laughed "Oh well you lured me in alright, Can I have a job?" Rin asked softly "You bet, I need a waitress, now I can take that help wanted sign off the window" Lea smiled. "Thank you so we'll have the special" Kagome smiled. "Well alright, you can start working next week or if that's not good for you, then you just call me and tell me alright Hun" Lea said walking away with order.

"I like her she seems nice" Kagome said warmly "Yea she is, I can't wait to start working here" Rin said picking a cup of coffee that Lea had just brought them, Rin loved the coffee already it was French Vanilla with bits of chocolate and cinnamon in it sweetening it just right. "Wow this coffee is great!" Kagome grinned happily. "Hey Rin you're too young to be drinking coffee" Kagome said "Yea sure you just want my coffee since you drank yours in one gulp" Rin said drinking the delicious coffee in front of a puppy eyed Kagome "Please" she begged. "Nope" she smirked and downed the rest of the heavenly liquid Lea brought them a side plate with buttered toast and eggs and bacon and cheese on a bagel. Rin ate the delicious meal before her Kagome sat wide eyed with her mouth hanging at her sisters animalistic looking form that tore through the food. "Wow I guess you were hungry" Kagome said slowly finishing her own bagel. "Lea, how much do we owe you?" Kagome asked pleasantly "bout seven fifty" she said "Wait that meal should cost about ten fifty" Kagome said wanting to give her the right amount "Employee discount" Lea smiled "Oh alright" Rin said with a mischievous gleam in her eye "Your tip is on the table" Kagome smiled as Rin dropped a twenty on the table.

Kagome and Rin walked home in silence since both were tired and wanted to go to sleep. "I miss mom" Rin said sadly looking a picture of her mother on the dusty mantle "Me too" Kagome said "Why did she leave us that way?" Rin said holding the frame "I have no mom to bear this with" Rin cried "Rin…" Kagome said "I hate her I hate her! For leaving us alone with Souta! He is in the hospital because of her! I hate her it's all her fault!" Rin screamed crying at the picture "Rin it's not moms fault" Kagome said looking at her crying sister "I hate her for leaving when the last thing I told her was I hated her then she had to and get herself killed! Why'd she do it Kagome! Why did she do it?" she said looking at the family photo tracing her mother's face. Kagome hugged her sister "She knows you love her" Kagome said holding her sister till her breathing regulated and she fell asleep. Kagome put her on the couch after a struggle to get her on it. Kagome went up stairs to grab a quilt and put it on her sister then went upstairs and fell asleep doing her homework on her bed.

**Hi it's me and sorry about the short chapters, but I have been busy with little Rex, she has the stomach virus and is crying a lot so I only have time to write when she is sleeping. Oh man I hope I don't get it. SO till next time. R&R **

**Ps. Her name isn't Rex we call her Rex because she loves to eat meat and cause trouble (baby pranks). Her real name is Isabella Eris Coralini-Baez. **


	4. Dreams & Trust

Rin woke up on the couch feeling the need to throw up everything she had in her stomach; she ran but didn't make it to the bathroom and threw up in the kitchen sink. "Ugh" Rin groaned hanging over the sink. Rin stood up straight and made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Then she went back into the kitchen and cleaned up the sink and went to her room and locked the door so she could do something she knew was dangerous but heard it felt great like there was a giant weight lifted off your shoulders but boy was she wrong. She looked at her pocket knife thinking '_Rin who would have thought you would end up here thinking about ending your life and an unborn child's life. Wait I can't do this what about the people who actually give a damn about my life? Do they even care or is just pity? I will not stand to be pitied! If I choose to end it this way then that's my decision right? And if I did would it prove me weak, just another weak broken soul out there? Why am I even thinking about suicide, I would have never thought about it a month ago? What the hell is wrong with me? I know the reason I am thinking about suicide, I know what's wrong with me, and it's his entire fault Naraku! If he would have just left me alone I would be happy right now I would be with Sesshoumaru right now! Sesshoumaru? What would happen if I told him? I know he would think it was a weak attempt of trying to get him back? If only he knew about it if only he were there to save me? He wasn't there, and I was weak I couldn't even put up a decent fight against Naraku! How I wish he would die and rot and burn!' _Rin thought she slid the knife lightly at the top of her inner arm so no one could see it burned with pain as the blood seeped through the small cut. Rin dropped the knife to the floor and went to her bathroom staying quiet even at scream trapped in her throat. Rin got a bandage from the cabinet and wrapped it around her arm '_Now why did I do that? God I am really stupid_' Rin thought. Rin was lying in her bed staring at the ceiling still fearing any nightmares she might have if she fell asleep. "Mom you have no idea how sorry I am for the last words you heard from me" Rin said turning over and looking at the picture of her and her mother standing in their spring festival kimonos she traced her figure and a there was a small tug at the corners of her lips. "Mom I wish we could go back to those days when we were happy" Rin said falling asleep peacefully with a smiling face.

"_Mom this kimono is beautiful, thank you for making it for me" Rin laughed hugging her mother tightly "Anything to make my baby happy" she smiled cheerfully. Rin's kimono was deep forest green silk, with sea blue sakura blossoms and butterflies and her mother's was the same with a blue background and red sakura blossoms. "Mom I love you" Rin said her brown eyes shining with joy. There was people laughing and bustling about in the background of them and the smells of delicious foods. Suddenly it all went black and then they were in a meadow filled with wild flowers and sakura petals falling in small twisters around them they were sitting down and her mother was now wearing a white silk kimono just white with angel wings protruding from her back "Mom where are we?" Rin asked she was now in her pajamas and at her present age "Sweetie, I know what happened to you and I am sorry I can't be here in your time of need, what Naraku has done is unforgivable" her mother said "Mom, how did you know?" Rin asked tears filling her eyes. "Come walk with me Rin" she said helping Rin up Rin followed her mother "Mom I wanted you to know I am sorry that I love you, I was mad before and I didn't" Rin was saying but her mother cut her off "Rin I know you love me you were only mad and I when I died I won't lie to you the last words I heard from you did make me hurt but I knew you didn't mean them. I have watched over you and Kagome and Souta since I died, I hear he is doing better you know coming out of the coma" she said "Yes we are all happy about him, he is showing signs of waking up soon" Rin smiled at her mother "Rin I know what you did to your arm and please don't do that it's not the answer to your problems sure it feel fine at first like releases of pain but what will you do when it isn't satisfying anymore" her mother told her "You're right but I didn't know, mom I am only fourteen I am still a kid just barely a teenager, what am I going to do?" Rin asked with tearful eyes "Don't worry everything will work out hunny, and don't worry baby your child will be nothing like him, nothing like him" her mother said "How did you know I was worrying about that?" Rin asked "So many questions my daughter, and I am afraid my time wares thin. I know because of my motherly intuition Rin" she said "Mom please don't leave me alone again, I want to stay here with you forever, I am happy here with you" Rin said to her "Rin you can't stay here our time together is nearly up and you must wake up right now" she said to Rin._

Rin shot up from her bed with the sun light pouring in from the window falling on her face. Kagome came running in "Rin! Rin!" Kagome yelled cheerfully "What!" Rin said back looking at her sister who just destroyed a quiet moment "It's Souta he is starting to talk in his sleep meaning he is very close to waking up" Kagome said smiling pulled Rin out of bed and jumping up and down smiling and laughing. "Kagome if he wakes up please, I don't want him to know what happened last week, knowing him he'll do something stupid and go after every guy with a bad record" Rin said her eyes remaining depressed. "Rin, I know I wouldn't want him to get her, so I promise I won't tell him, but I will find who did it considering the baby will have some of his features" Kagome said Rin turned her head to the window "Well then you'll have to wait eight months and two weeks" Rin said putting her hand on the window feeling the suns warmth bathe her cold hand. '_How I wish I could tell you Sesshoumaru, what he did to me? How I wish you would hold me and tell me you love me? But that will never happen, you'd never believe me so I'll have to leave you in past. I can leave you in the past, but I'll never be able to leave him in the past, because he created this nightmare that is my past, my present, and my future. Everyday I live I will have to look at what he's done how he has cursed me. My past is a horrible ugly scar, which will never fade. My present I am having a baby that will remind me everyday of my past wounds that may never close, the scars that will never fade. My future is to live just barely making bills, barely keeping food on the table, being a young mother that looks twice her age. How could this happen? We had everything planned out, Sesshoumaru, we agreed to have a big wedding and beautiful honeymoon and have a whole house filled mini Sesshoumaru's._' Rin thought getting up and going into the bathroom turning the shower on putting on the highest heat level to let it heat up. She stripped off her clothes and stepped into the steaming water. She still tried to scrub till the dirty feeling went away but it wouldn't work. "Why doesn't this filthy feeling go away! Why won't he leave me alone! Just leave me alone Stop plaguing my thoughts!" Rin screamed to herself sliding to the floor hugging her knees tightly. After about an hour of just crying Rin rinsed again and wrapped a towel around her body. She put on a pair of clean pajama pants and a sweat shirt then went downstairs to eat breakfast which was a piece of toast and orange juice. Kagome came into the kitchen and drank orange juice.

Rin ran to the bathroom and was throwing up and Kagome ran after her holding her brown hair back from her shaking form. Rin sat there for a while afraid throwing up again she got up and rinsed her mouth out with water and brushed her teeth. "I hate throwing up" she mumbled walking to the couch and lying down on it then turning on the TV. She was watching family guy. "Peter is such a dumb ass and Stewie he is just brilliant, and wow I love family guy" she said keeping herself busy during the commercials. There was a knock at the door and Rin grumpily walked over to it "Stupid door getting in my family guy time" Rin muttered opening it seeing Inuyasha "Oh hi Inuyasha" Rin said still grumpy but she was jumpy and nervous jumping at every movement Inuyasha made but covered it up and she went back on her seat on the couch seeing the Family Guy credits on. "Inuyasha…you made me miss my show" Rin said angrily "Sorry, Is Kagome here, I need to talk to her about something?" Inuyasha asked "Yea she is upstairs go on up" Rin said going back to her TV shows which was now American Dad. Inuyasha walked up the stairs and Rin followed listening at the door stealthily. "Inuyasha I'm so stressed lately keep this to my self is horrible" Kagome said "What is it?" Inuyasha asked "It's Rin she was…well she was…she was raped and she won't tell me who did it and I am so worried about her, but please keep this to yourself I wasn't suppose to tell anyone" Kagome said breaking down into tears "What! Is that why she was jumpy and nervous when she answered the door?" he asked "Well that's probably the reason" Kagome sniffed "I think I know who did it but I won't tell you only because if she wanted you to know, you would know. Look Kagome I have to go…I have a date with Kikyou" Inuyasha told his friend and walking down the stairs never noticing Rin's anger shaking form.


	5. Moving Out

**I am so sorry that I haven't updated in like forever. Its justthat Rex was sick and my mother had thrown a babyshower for my older sister. Andyou don't want to know about my boring excuses that are true. WEll then till next time,------- Me-------------Rix Baez**

**_Fluffy- Blahh blah blah that is all it is with you_**

**_Inu-I know right she needs to shut up_**

**_Rix- I get itI get it now here you go_**

Rin's body shook with anger at her sister whom she assumed had forgotten to even think of asking her if it was okay to tell a secret that held her life in the balance. '_Does she even care? Does she have any idea what she's done? This could be one of my last moments on earth thanks to her_' Rin thought her brown eyes flaring like an inferno. Rin's whole being was shaking with fear and anger as she waked into Kagome's room but inside she felt stabbed in the heart that her sister couldn't' even consult her about telling Inuyasha her secret.

"Kagome I trusted you with my secret!" Rin shouted at Kagome who jumped at the coldness in Rin's voice "Rin I'm sorry…I just couldn't handle the stress its hard keeping secrets like this. I mean honestly you didn't even ask the doctors for an STD test. Do you even know how dangerous this is for you physically mentally? You really don't care you just want to be-------"Kagome said before she was cut off "What be selfish! You're right I want to be selfish I want you to keep your big mouth shut about my secret! You don't even ask who you can tell! Well trust is like a wall that takes longer than the Great Wall of China to be built and you have just torn it down! And I have a right to be selfish! I have a right to have things I want things for me to decide! Because I didn't decide on what happened to happen. But Now I am making my own decision! Kagome I'm moving out" Rin said her russet eyes flaming with tears falling from her almond shaped eyes.

"Rin no don't….I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell Inuyasha…Please don't move out" Kagome said to her sister as she walked away. "I want to know I can do things for myself and I need to know I can make it on my own, when I know then I'll think about coming back" Rin said strongly but looking to the eyes of her sister with a swirl of disdain. "Rin Your only fourteen you can't make it out in the world by your self" Kagome said "Well Kagome I am truly sorry that you feel that way…but I have to leave because I can't stand to look at you anymore" Rin said and packed a couple outfits it in to a small suit case "I'll be back for the rest in a day or two" Rin added walking out the door.

Rin let the sun hit her face and she wiped her tears and walked down the street with her suit case she walked towards Lea's Café but Rin had forgotten to call Lea in her anger. 'Oh well I will have to tell her when I see her and hopefully she let me stay with her just until I can get my own apartment' Rin thought nervously.

Rin watched as the sign reading 'Heaven's Café' in bold white letters came in to view Rin smiled slightly thinking about the coffee she had from there. Rin walked faster feeling droplets of rain fall on her head not to mention she heard thunder and she was terrified of thunder. Rin walked into the cozy café and sat down for a minute trying to warm up she felt a hand on her shoulder for a second and looked up to see Lea. "Oh Lea I needed to talk to you sorry I didn't call" Rin began immediately apologizing "I know I know and there is no need to say sorry I am always here to help and to talk to" Lea said warmly. "Thank you Lea you are a very good friend and me and my sister are having problems with each other and I need a place to stay for awhile" Rin said "Of course you can stay with me I just hope you don't mind babies crying and whining or babysitting Johnny and Danny" Lea said with a smile. "Of Course I can watch them and I don't mind…Lea?" Rin said "Yea" Lea said "You're the best" Rin said and hugged her tightly.

Later that night Rin was helping Lea clean up the café tables and close up and she heard a noise upstairs "Oh Rin can you lock up I think Danny just woke up and didn't see me around" Lea said and threw Rin the keys and ran up stairs to her apartment above the café. "Sure thing" Rin locked the front and back doors then finished cleaning the last table. After she shut the lights she went up the stairs and saw two red headed little boys that looked around two years old throwing Mac and cheese everywhere. Rin looked at Lea who was hiding behind the couch she saw Lea was trying to tell her something but she didn't understand it "These must be the boys you told me about" Rin said and it was then they saw her.

They turned around and a twinkle shot in their little blue eyes and they grasped macaroni in their hands and aim and fired at Rin and Lea till there was no more. "Hey can't say I didn't warn you I'll clean this up you should take a shower, the bathroom is down the hall to the left" Lea said grabbing the boys with both arms and putting on them on the couch then scurried to the TV and turned it on and their favorite show was on "Look it's the Rugrats" Lea said and went to the other bathroom and took a shower she came out and got dressed really fast so she could wash the boys.

Rin came out and put her clothes on which was a brown long sleeve shirt and blue worn out hip huggers. "Doesn't school start in a couple weeks for you" Lea asked Rin while making two grilled cheese sandwiches "Yes it does and its going to be hell and soon as I start to show" Rin said "Wait a second you're pregnant?" Lea said "Yea I am but its not how you think" Rin said "Then how is it" Lea said


	6. Explaining & Bad First Days

_**Explaining and Bad First Day **_

"Doesn't school start in a couple weeks for you" Lea asked Rin while making two grilled cheese sandwiches "Yes it does and its going to be hell and soon as I start to show" Rin said "Wait a second you're pregnant?" Lea said "Yea I am but its not how you think" Rin said "Then how is it" Lea said.

"I am so sorry I can explain everything" Rin said her eyes getting nervous she began to sweat as she tried to sum up the courage to tell Lea her sad story. "Well you should have told me that you were pregnant I can already tell how from the moment I met you I could tell that you had been raped" Lea said Rin winced at the word 'raped'. Rin let the tears fall "I am losing everyone and everything" Rin said "I am not mad because I know you need someone to cry on someone to relate to and that is who I'll be for you" Lea said "You couldn't possibly know what I am feeling what I am going through" Rin said "Oh yes I do, my boys are the result of rape and that is where they get their twinkling blue eyes…it hurts to think of them that way because they are my only gift from that day they keep me going when I want to stop breathing I remember that they need me" Lea said to Rin who felt as if she had been slapped in the face "I don't know what to say" Rin said the tears streaming. "How about we go to sleep and we'll talk more in the morning" Lea said,

The next thing they knew Rin had been living with Lea for a month and she began to see a slight roundness to her abdomen. "Lea school starts tomorrow and I am scared to go what if I see him?" Rin said Lea had made her stronger than she was when she first moved in. Rin hadn't talked to Kagome since she moved out. "Don't worry it will be alright and I want you home right after school" Lea told Rin handing her the uniform (just like the one from the show only the main color is grey).

Rin went down to the café and opened up and set everything up. Sesshoumaru walked In only not alone with a girl she recognized as Yura. Rin walked over and asked them for there order. Sesshoumaru realized who it was and his face went cold and Yura's was in pure disgust. "We will have two bagels with cream cheese toasted on the inside low fat and orange juice with sides of coffee" Yura said. Rin walked away and brought their food and drinks and gave Sesshoumaru a pained look and walked away. She served other customers and then she Yura called her asking for a new spoon because the one she had fell. Rin brought a new one and handed it to Yura who surprisingly dropped it and needed another one. Rin brought another new one this time Sesshoumaru took it. Rin left the table and brought them their bill which was 25.58. Sesshoumaru left that exact amount no tip.

The next day Rin got dressed for school and wore shorts under the skirt. The day was going fine she was fine with her schedule she hadn't been to her classes yet she wasn't even in homeroom yet.

Homeroom- Ms. Sans

Biology

phys ed

world history a

keyboarding

English

piano

lunch

geometry

free period

Rin walked to homeroom and sat down in her chair and then Naraku walked into the room and Rin's body froze. He saw her and smirked and smiled. Rin did her best to keep from panicking and made it through homeroom only to find out she had him in biology, Phys Ed, and lunch. After school there was a big crowd and Naraku grabbed Rin by arm and covered her mouth to keep her from screaming. His hand muffled her cries "Hello Rin how have you been? It's a pleasure to have this many classes with you" he said backing her against a wall his hips were against hers and she was struggling to get free tears falling from her eyes. "I can tell you want me sweetie why don't we step into the bathroom real quick. "Remember what I told you don't tell anyone or I'll kill you and your sister and everyone you care about" Naraku said holding a knife to her throat. Rin nodded yes rapidly "Now Be quiet" Naraku said and he slapped her after letting go of her mouth she was bleeding from her lip and her nose. "Did you tell anyone?" he asked pulling her up by the hair "No" she said crying "Don't fucking lie to me whore" he said slamming her against a bathroom stall "Only Kagome" Rin said "Oh really but you tell her this time will you?" he said grabbing her and kissed her then he pulled down her underwear and lifted her skirt "No! Naraku Please Stop! No more!" Rin cried a tear hit Naraku's face he stopped "we'll finish this another time for now I have something I have to attend to" he said leaving Rin slid to the ground crying and picking up her uniform and putting it on. Rin washed her face and sat back down crying even more '_why! Why am I so weak? Why do I let him do this to me' _Rin thought wiping the new tears and wiping her face clean. Then she began her walk home suddenly someone came from behind her and covered her mouth and a male voice said "Guess Who?"

**Hi Rix here sorry for such a long wait but Nero was sick and Rex was starting playschool and i got a new job and yea ok well I hope you enjoyed **

**Well I luvvers you all so till next time whatever**


	7. Why Me?

_Rin washed her face and sat back down crying even more 'why! Why am I so weak? Why do I let him do this to me' Rin thought wiping the new tears and wiping her face clean. Then she began her walk home suddenly someone came from behind her and covered her mouth and a male voice said "Guess who?"_

Tears began to well up in her eyes and one fell and landed on the guy's hand he let go and she turned around to see Inuyasha with that shocked look on his face. Her eyes grew wide.

"Oh Inuyasha it's just you" Rin said swiftly wiping a tear from her face. His yellow orbs showed concern "Rin are you okay?" Inuyasha asked "I'm fine Inuyasha, why would you think otherwise?" Rin said softly continuing to walk "Here let me walk you home" Inuyasha said taking her books from her she stopped "Why are you being so nice to me? I used to never exist to you" Rin said to him her bangs covering her eyes. "I know what happened to you and I feel bad" he said.

"Why should you feel bad there isn't anything you could have done" Rin said tears freely flowing from her almond eyes "I was upstairs in my room I could have stopped him...I heard you and I brushed it off as nothing and then the noise just stopped so I didn't know what to think until I saw you when I called your taxi" Inuyasha said a tear fell from his honey eyes. "Don't cry…its like seeing him cry" Rin said to him wiping the tear "You should fucking hate me" Inuyasha said to her "I can only hate myself and him nothing else deserves it" Rin said taking her books and walking the rest of the way home by herself leaving Inuyasha standing there.

Rin went into the café and walked behind the counter put her apron on and went to work. After a couple hours Rin took her break and was drinking a cup of lemonade. Sesshoumaru walked in again with Yura and looked as if he was looking for a place to sit so Rin got up and cleaned the table and got two menus and walked over to them.

"Welcome to Heaven's Café, Follow me and I will show you to your seats." Rin said with her best fake happy voice cause inside her soul was dying and heart was breaking. She led them to their seats and handed them the menus. Yura still looked at Rin with disgusted eyes "What can I start you off with?" Rin asked "I'll have the coconut shrimp with the spicy sauce and Pepsi" Sesshoumaru said handing Rin the menu "I'll have the same" Yura said.

Rin took both menus and walked away the order which she then gave to the chef who had the food out in seven minutes. Rin brought them their food with that fake smile on her face. They took their plates and Rin went to the back to get a drink. As she was drinking the liquid she heard a bunch of gasps come from the front and there he was Mr. Taisho Sesshoumaru's father with his wife Sakura.

"I've got this table" Rin said going to them "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Taisho welcome to Heaven's café just follow me to your table" Rin said leading yet another couple from the Taisho household to their seats "Rin how've you been I haven't see you?" Sakura asked Rin. "Oh I've been good and you?" Rin replied "I've been grand" she said "Well Let me take your order" Rin said "oh no we are only here for coffee" Sakura said "Well then may I recommend Our House special I can swear that you will love it" Rin said

"Ok then you win lets have that coffee" Sakura said Rin came out with the coffee and handed it to them. "What no sugar or spoons or even milk" Inutaisho said "Trust me you won't need it" Rin said to them. They tried it and Rin saw their faces change dramatically but it was a good change. They paid and left Rin with a one hundred dollar tip.

That night Rin walked up the stairs slowly recalling the events of her day. '_First Naraku nearly does that to me again…Then Inuyasha tells me he thought he could have stopped it_' Rin thought tears slipped from her eyes again '_I couldn't stand to see Inuyasha because it was like seeing Sesshoumaru crying and that would have killed me' _Rin thought sitting on the stairs to cry she was holding on to the railing as she sank to the steps, a young little boy heard Rin crying and ran towards her "Don't worry pretty lady it'll be okay" he said and ran back to his mother. Rin wiped her tears and walked up the rest of the stairs and into the apartment and straight in to her room for sleep cradling the small bump forming around her abdomen. She didn't know but she felt warm inside when she thought of a baby growing inside her. '_at least one good thing is coming of all this, hard and maybe unwanted at first but something I can really focus on to keep me busy' _Rin thought to herself. As she slept she had dream about Naraku it wasn't a nightmare and it wasn't a good dream either. Naraku wasn't the villain in this one.

_Rin stood there in a hallway of a small apartment she saw a young Naraku but he couldn't see her instead he was running to a room that was right next to Rin she hadn't even noticed it. That's when Rin heard it the crying of a woman, his mother. not Inuyasha's mother but his mother she had cascading black hair and crimson eyes and a man was in her room while his father was away. Her eyes were filled with tears as the man began to touch her and violate her "Mommy!' he screamed in horror at the things this man was doing to his mom, he couldn't have been more than five or four. "Naraku go to you room!" she told him as calmly as she could "Mommy" he started screaming non stop. The man got off his mom and then through Naraku against a wall where he was knocked unconscious. Rin fell in tears as she saw through his eyes what happened to his mother as he was in and out of consciousness. Then when he finally was out for real but just long enough to see his mother drag herself to him to hug as she died._

Rin woke up in a cold sweat with tears falling from her eyes '_that couldn't have possibly happened to his mother can it have?' _Rin thought getting in the shower.

hey its me and this is the end of the chapter i have to add a new little charcter to the story another result of rape my son Nero.


	8. Schools & Making Up

Rin got out of the bathroom once again scrubbing her skin almost raw. She took a brush and ran it through her hair. She looked in the drawer to find a bow, and there were the bows right next to the scissors that were calling her. Rin picked up the scissors and lifted them to her hair, her hand was trembling. As she looked in the mirror she gazed into her own eyes.

She saw events of nearly three months ago replaying in her head over and over, the things that drove her to become this way. Rin's hand slipped and cut her hair right at the shoulder. Rin gasped as she looked to the floor to see her once waist length hair on the bathroom floor. Rin looked at her self in the mirror and seeing her hair short and different, made her feel better, because that hair was in her past. She cut the other side the same way. Since her bangs had gotten longer she created a fringe out of them cover her left eye.

Rin went to her bedroom that she shared with the twins and got a big red sweatshirt and blue jeans with a pair of red converse. _'What will people think of me when they find out? And my hair' _Rin thought touching her now short hair. It didn't look bad, but it made it look like she was a totally different person, always having been known as the little girl with the long gorgeous hair. Rin's short locks looked good on her and made her look a bit older.

Lea walked in and dropped the blankets in her arms. "Rin your hair!" she exclaimed "Does it look bad?" Rin said with her chocolate eyes looking at the small cracks in the wooden floor. "It looks great it's just so different. You look good." Lea said. "Thanks" Rin said. "Where are you off to?" Lea asked "I was gonna go buy some new clothes so I could try hide my tummy for when it gets bigger" Rin said "Be back before dark" Lea said. "Ok" Rin said running out of the apartment and on to the side walk.

Rin pulled an Ipod from her pocket listening and turning on her playlist. The song first song was Meg and Dia- Monster. The sun shone brightly and the trees blew gently with the wind. The sweatshirt wasn't needed but it made Rin feel comfortable.

Rin had been walking around looking at the Ipod, she bumped into Kagome. "Oh I'm sorry Miss" Kagome said walking away not even recognizing Rin. "Kagome…." Rin called. Kagome's receding back freezing as she turned around and running back about to hug Rin but she moved away. "How's Souta?" Rin asked slight tears in her eyes. "The doctors said that he wakes up in and out and then falls asleep in under five minutes but it is a good sign" Kagome said to her. "That's good" Rin said. "Rin I'm sorry" Kagome said. "I know" Rin said leaving the store and her sister.

As Rin walked towards the next store she saw Sesshoumaru and Yura buying clothes. Rin frowned and kept walking. She bought a bigger uniform and a couple of baggy shirts. She looked at the sky and realized that it had gotten dark out and she had to walk home. So she decided to jog home with all her bags.

"Hey there pretty girl" a voice said Rin just willed herself to run faster. "Don't run, you know I'll just catch you anyway" he said grabbing her by the arm and swinging her around so she was facing him. Familiar crimson eyes caught hers, Naraku's eyes. "Why are you out so late? You should be careful there are some sick men out at this time of night" Naraku said in her ear holding her against him by her still small waist. "You mean people like you" Rin said to him in disgust trying to get away from him. "I'll walk you home just so nothing happens to you; you are after all carrying my child" he said causing Rin to gasp. "No I'm not, it's not yours" Rin said softly. "It has to be" Naraku said. "No I had an abortion of the curse you tried to leave me with" Rin said.

Sesshoumaru walked past them with his arm around Yura giving a slight glance at Rin and Naraku. Rin gave him a pleading glance. "Hey Rin do you need a ride home?" he said Rin nodded and ran over to them. Yura was upset because Rin had to sit in the front by Sesshoumaru's order. "Rin tell me….why?" he asked her "I didn't" she said "Then what happened?" he asked "I can't say…" Rin said as they pulled up to Yura's house. "Sessy this isn't Rin's house" Yura said "I know, go home" Sesshoumaru said to her. "Tell me…Rin….please" he said in the same way he used to with her, kind and warm. "I can't tell you, not now anyway" Rin said as the pulled up to her house she looked at him sadness filled her eyes making them darker.

Rin got out of the car and ran to the door after she was in he drove away just like he used to. Rin ran up the stairs to the apartment and into the room where the twins usually are. She jumped on her bed and sat there Indian style. Rin watched the boys sleep in peace, their breathing in unison putting her to sleep.

The next the morning Rin got up and took a shower and brushed her hair and let it dry straight. She walked to the school and headed to homeroom. Kagome was there which slightly didn't surprise Rin they did after all assign homerooms by last name. Kagome went over to Rin and sat by her. Rin turned to face Kagome "I have been acting really stupid, I know. I would come home but I don't think I can….just yet" Rin said Kagome's eyes filled with unshed tears and she hugged her sister.

The day went pretty quick for Rin she ignored Naraku as best she could.

She went to work and sitting at table 4 was Naraku and his latest girl friend, Kagura. He was the school playboy every girl wanted him and that was every girl except Rin.

"What can I get you?" Rin asked that familiar fake happy tone and smile again masked her face. "We'll have the house coffee" Naraku said his eyes capturing Rin's which held only disgust she nodded and came back with their order. Rin took her break and sat where she usually did it was in the hallway where the bathrooms were. Naraku just happened to be going to the bathroom. "Hey Rinny" he said pulling her into the bathroom. Her eyes went from him to the door franticly just as they had that day. Naraku went towards her walking almost tauntingly. "That's not my name" she said as strongly as she could. "Your hair" he said as he touched it he kissed her gently which surprised her and she slapped him and began to leave the bathroom "don't touch me" Rin said as he whipped her around by her arm and slapped her causing a small cut to form on her lip. "No Rinny you don't seem to understand your mine…and so is this kid" he said touching her slightly bulged abdomen. She turned her face to the side "Just Leave me alone, Stop Doing this to me" she said tears falling from her eyes.


	9. Complications & Promotions

"No Rinny you don't seem to understand your mine…and so is this kid" he said touching her slightly bulged abdomen. She turned her face to the side "Just Leave me alone, Stop Doing this to me" she said tears falling from her eyes. "I can't I'll be with you everyday you live, until the day you die" he said caressing her cheek. "Don't touch me" Rin said strongly and pushed him away. He slapped her across the face causing her to fall to the floor with a soft thump. Naraku squatted down and grabbed Rin's face in his hands and kissed her hard as she squirmed and tried to get away. "Your mine…how many times will I have to show you?" he said a slight laugh in his voice. He grabbed her sweatshirt and unzipped the front and pulled up her shirt to touch her abdomen. Rin's eyes widened as he gently touched her. "Stop…" Rin said to him pushing him away from her. "Rin always remember that child is a part of me…and is mine…don't try to fool yourself" he said pushing her against the wall and grabbing a handful of hair from the back of her head and pulling her head to his so he could kiss her fully. She put her hands on his chest and pushed as hard as she could but he wouldn't loosen his grip at all and with each ounce of resistance he took it farther and for her cries his hand was there to muffle them.

Once he was done with her he let her leave. Rin wiped the tears from her face and went back to work. Naraku left a twenty dollar tip lying on the table. '_That could have gone so far…he didn't do it though thank god…how does he know about the baby? I'm not sure I can take this anymore' _Rin thought a tear nearly escaping, but she held it back she was no longer willing to show weakness in front of people. Rin figured if she let all out alone and with only the people she trusts that everything will be okay. But then she thought after she had the baby would everything be okay.

"Rin table 6 needs some attention" Lea said from behind the counter Rin nodded and on was her brilliant façade again. After work Rin took a shower and got dressed for bed. She put her now shoulder length hair into ponytails and went to bed.

---_3 months later_---

_(Pregnancy-----about 5 months)_

Rin had begun to show and people began to ridicule, and call her a whore, a slut, and a prostitute. Her sweatshirts and larger uniform were no longer hiding her stomach. Rin still had only told two people and no one else. Her hair was now a bit longer. Rin was promoted at work now she was the café manager and only dealt with small problems with customers. For a pregnant woman Rin was very slim which worried Lea. Lea sat down with the boys and made them some macaroni tousling their red hair.

It was the morning and Rin had begun her walk to school, when Naraku pulled up in his car. "Hey Rinny you want a ride?" he asked "not from you" Rin said and kept walking he glared at her with an inside snarl in his throat. "Ok Fine I don't need a pregnant slut in my car anyways" he chuckled and drove off. Rin was of course angered by his words and sped up walking. A sharp pain in her stomach she clutched hard slowly sat on the ground holding her stomach. It went away so she went to school and in biology it happened again. "Rin are you alright" her teacher Mr. Yamagisho asked watching her clutch her stomach in pain. Naraku looked through the side of his eye and they widened a bit at the blood in the corner of her mouth it was as crimson as his very eyes.

"Mr. Y I'll take her to the nurse" he said getting up and grabbing Rin's arm. Rin stood up and slowly followed him out to the hallway. "I can go myself" Rin said to him as she walked faster he grabbed her arm tighter. "Don't forget Rinny you are mine…so I would show a bit more respect" Naraku said pulling her into a bathroom. "Don't touch me" Rin said to grabbing the handle to bathroom so she could leave he pushed her against it but not hard and not rough, he wouldn't hurt his own child. "Listen to me Rinny, you will go to the doctor today at 4:30 sharp and you will tell the doctor everything he wants to know understand me" Naraku said in her ear. "Yes can we go to class please" Rin said tears filling her eyes. "Yes come to class five minutes after I leave" he said to her leaving the bathroom. Rin felt a feeling again in her stomach the sharp pain. Rin ran into a stall and threw up blood not a lot but still.

Rin stood up and rinsed her mouth out with water and returned to class. For the rest of the day Rin felt no pain in her stomach '_what is wrong with me? Why is this happening?' _Rin thought. It was 4:15 and Rin had to go to the doctor or she would be late especially since she was on foot and didn't know when she would feel the pain again.

When Rin arrived to the doctor's office the doctor had just called her name. "Rin Higurashi we are ready for you" he called. "Tell Me how old are you, Ms. Higurashi?" he asked "I am 14 ½ "she answered. "What has been happening to you?" He asked her "I have been feeling a sharp pain in my abdomen and I threw up a bit of blood" Rin said scared of what he would ask. He touched her knee and lifted her skirt a bit revealing a bit of blood on her underwear. Rin backed away fear coming over her eyes. "It seems as though your baby wants to come out now by the stain, and that is a problem easily fixed…the sharp pain I am unsure of" he said noting her discomfort when he lifted her skirt. "Rin when was the last time you ate?" He asked her "


	10. Difficulties & Meeting New People

Ru-Doragon- it was a different rape…same father…it was around the time that I finally filed a report on him they had him in the station and someone got him out on bail. So he came and found me. I'm just glad my daughter wasn't there to witness it and that it gave me physical evidence to keep him behind bars.

Whatever 10- Difficulties & Meeting New People.

"It seems as though your baby wants to come out now by the stain, and that is a problem easily fixed…the sharp pain I am unsure of" he said noting her discomfort when he lifted her skirt. "Rin when was the last time you ate?" He asked her "Ummm…four days ago" Rin said looking at her feet. "That isn't healthy for you or your baby….that is the reason for the pain…" the doctor said "I know its just…sometimes I don't want to have this baby…everyone calls me a whore and looks at me different because I am pregnant" Rin said to him "It is going to be hard…which is why you have a little bit of blood on your underwear. You are young and your body isn't quite ready for a child you haven't developed completely. I am going to have the person you live with make sure you eat three real meals a day and monitor your bleeding if I am right it will most likely need operation to keep your cervix closed so that you won't miscarry" The doctor told her. "So I will just be going." Rin said as calmly as she could. "I will be mailing your guardian what I have told you today and to keep tabs on you…there is a number there should you need that operation." He told her.

Rin left the doctor's office and walked home silently staring at the ground as she walked '_What's wrong with me…what kind of person am I…how could I…not eat even though I am pregnant…Am I that weak…that useless…I'm a horrible dirty slut…a worthless whore'_ Rin thought tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Rinny what did the doctor say?" Naraku said coming out from shadows. "He said that I should eat…and that my body isn't ready for a child…but you know what thanks for getting me pregnant anyways you asshole, I hate you, I hope you rot in hell!" Rin yelled at him, his eyes widened and he slammed her body against the wall as softly as he anger would let him, still aware of his child's safety issues and that she might be at risk to miscarriage. He pinned her there with her hands above her head as she struggled to get away. "Listen to me Rinny, you will respect me…I am your baby's father after all…If I have to make you fear me even more I will make you fear me more than the devil himself, got that?" he said getting closed to her face. "You're worse than the devil" Rin said to him tears wanted to fall but she wouldn't let them, not willing to show him tears.

Naraku sent strong slap to her face, no one was around to hear it or see it. "You are mine…don't forget it, because I'll just make you remember, I'll burn it into the back of your eyelids. If needed I'll take you again and again, just like the first time" he said laughing at how her tears fell now. As he left Rin sunk to the pavement and cried hard.

"Are you ok Ms.?" The kind and gentle voice said to her. "I'm fine" she said her tear stained cheeks were burning from the salt. "Then why are you crying?" he said again his shoulder length brown wavy hair blowing slowly in the wind, he eyes were grey almost like liquid mercury. "Look I'm fine just leave me alone" Rin said getting up and starting to walk home he grabbed her arm where she had a forming bruise "Don't Touch Me" she said yanking her arm away "Hey lady chill out" he said to her, "I'm sorry…I have to go home" Rin said nervously seeing the darkness come farther. "Um…let me walk you home, a woman in your condition shouldn't be wandering the streets alone, my name is Lucas." He said sticking his hand out for her. "I'm Rin…." She said grabbing his hand, she would rather have someone to walk with rather than to be alone and easier for Naraku to attack again.

As they reached the steps of the apartment Rin pulled out the key from her pocket, and opened the door. "Well then, Ms. Rin…I hope to see you around" Lucas said walking away slowly. Rin walked up the steps unlocking the door and going to her room she got in the shower and looked down at her swollen stomach; she put a hand on it and was spacing out, thinking about random things. After she finished taking a shower she walked to the bedroom. Rin put on a big shirt that was tight around her belly and some jogging pants. Rin dreaded the next day that awaited her it was just another day for someone to ridicule her about her pregnancy.

The next morning Rin got dressed in the school uniform that barely fits anymore. Rin walked the short distance to school. When she arrived she sat down in homeroom. The cruel words happened again. As she walked in the hallways on the way to class she heard the way people talked about her. "I heard she was prostituting and then she got pregnant". "She is such a whore…can you believe her fourteen and pregnant…she was probably letting anyone touch her". "I hear it's her dead mother's friends husbands baby". "They shouldn't allow sluts like her to go to school with girls like us". "I can't believe I used to talk to her". Rin's eyes began to swell with tears as she walked then a guy grabbed her ass "Hey, How about you and me have some fun after you pop that baby?" he said cockily his eyes never leaving her chest. Naraku saw this and smirked "You don't want that…she'll fuck anyone…you don't know what kinds of diseases she has…besides I had that and it wasn't anything special", he said laughing cruelly high fiving the other boy.

* * *

So sorry for the wait. I've just been really busy. My mom kicked me out last week. So I to find a place to stay. I'm staying with my friend. Until I find an apartment in my price range.

Read & Review

I really do appreciate you all. I love you guys


	11. Finding People Aren't Who You Think & Ma

**Whatever.**

**By**   
Rix Baez

_**China Doll – **_

No, he left me because he didn't find out until after I had Rex, and by then he had a new girlfriend. When they broke up we dated for awhile and he went to college, so I haven't seen him for a while, so now its kind of a long distance relationship, but he is a great father figure to Rex and will be a great one to Nero if we stay together.

After I got raped, I felt worthless like anyone who wanted me could just have it, I slept around for a while. I took drugs around the end of my pregnancy, I took a lot of stuff, I smoked, weed, sniffed cocaine, and I tried to kill myself numerous times, slitting my wrists, I tried to jump out of my mother's third floor window after I had the baby but she started screaming crying so I went back inside, I overdosed on Zoloft trying to get the voices, mainly Jared's voice out of my head. I was depressed and I still have trouble trusting men, I barely do.

My mom kicked me out because she said she wouldn't always be there to take care of me and that I have to pull my life together. She also said she can't deal with me coming home from work at 1 am, to wake up and see me past out on the couch. She doesn't believe that I'm working over time, she thinks that I am prostituting since I had slept around when I felt worthless. He wants me to move out to Fresno, where he is going to school, but I don't think I will.

**Chapter 11 : Finding People Aren't Who You Think & Making Choices That Aren't At All Good  
**

Rin ran to the bathroom, and then just remembered how even in a bathroom, a room that had locks and stalls. That even in there she couldn't manage to escape him. Rin sat in a bathroom stall sat on the toilet and cried. Then the creaking for the door opening filled Rin's ears, Kikyou had walked in. Kikyou was the school loner, she and Rin weren't so different. Kikyou was beautiful with long jet black hair, and deep brown eyes, her facial features were perfect, full lips and a long nose, with wide almond eyes encased with full thick long lashes.

Rin ceased her crying hoping Kikyou wouldn't hear, fearing that she to would be someone to judge her. Kikyou had went out with Naraku, she left him because he was abusive a beat her up a couple times, but he dared not touch her, her father was after all the sheriff of the town. Rin wiped her face with the toilet paper and came out of the stall. Kikyou looked at her through her long bangs, her face held no emotion. Rin looked at her the sorrow flooded her eyes again and suddenly something she would never expect happened. Kikyou walked forward and hugged her warmly. Her embrace was comforting and it felt safe. Rin cried on Kikyou's black guns 'n roses shirt. "Shhh…Rin…It'll be okay……I'll help you…I don't care what anyone says, I know you're not a whore…and I know you're a great person" Kikyou said holding Rin smoothing her hair with her.

Rin pulled away "Thank you, Kikyou, you really don't know how much that means to me" Rin said wiping tears from her face. At lunch Rin looked around to see the dirty looks on all the girls' faces, the only one who didn't look was Kikyou. Rin walked over to the table that only held Kikyou. When Rin sit down, Kikyou looked up with a slight smile on her face. Kikyou was a great person; it was hard to believe she didn't have many friends. "Kikyou, why do you put up with Inuyasha?" Rin asked softly. Kikyou was wearing black pants with converse. Kikyou played with the mush that was school lunch "Well, I can tell that your sister is interested but I think I may be in love with him, he is nothing like anyone I've ever met, he makes me forget about how I hate Naraku" she said "Kikyou…you're right Inuyasha is a great person and you deserve someone who can treat you like you deserve to be treated" Rin said. Rin and Kikyou talked and they got to know each other and soon were nearly like sisters themselves.

**2 months later**

(_Pregnancy 7 Months_)

Rin sat down with Kikyou out side the café. Kikyou's father came to pick her up, and smiled calling her, they lived at the end of town, they lived up town, where a lot of rich people lived. Rin sat down, on the ledge, and passing by was Lucas. He looked at her with a smile and asked her to walk with him, she accepted. "Hey, ummm…don't think I'm crazy but have you ever smoked weed?" Lucas asked her. Rin shook her head, she had never had smoked in her life, and the thought scared and yet intrigued her at the same time. "Wanna try it" he said taking out one he had obviously pre rolled and lit it then gave it to her. After awhile Rin didn't have a care in the world, she forgot about Naraku, she felt good and that was something she hadn't in a long time.

Lucas kissed Rin's soft pink lips and Rin kissed back, they got as close as they could with Rin's protruding stomach in the way, Lucas asked her if she wanted another blunt. Rin took it. He handed her a bottle covered in a paper bag, she took it and took a swig feeling an intensely warm liquid turn to fire as it went down her throat even at the unpleasant taste Rin kept drinking it. Before long Rin was drunk talking about non sense, Rin kissed Lucas deeply he kissed back with passion. When Rin woke up the next morning she was in an unfamiliar place, an apartment. She ran to the bathroom to puke, Lucas was sleeping in the bed. Rin looked in the mirror holding her hand to her neck where there was a bright red hickey. Rin gasped and put her clothes on walked into the living room where she saw about twenty blunts she grabbed them and shoved them in her pockets, and walked out the front door.

Rin walked into the café, Lea strode up to her "Rin where have you been?" she asked "I was no where" Rin said going to the back of the shop to put on her Lea followed her seeing the _numerous _hickeys on her neck and a little lower. "Rin where have you been?" she asked again "I told you already" Rin answered. They had worked till it was time to close shop and Lea had to go do some things. Rin ran upstairs to her room and took out one of the blunts. After that night she did it for weeks.

Then there had been that unlucky night when Lea walked in on her smoking the weed. "Rin what are you doing?" Lea looked around seeing empty liquor bottles and smelling the stench of weed. Rin stood struggling to look sober and not high and walked over to Lea "It's not what it looks like, Lea." Rin slurred the alcohol smell flowing out of her mouth. Lea looked down at the floor. "Whatever" Lea said walking out.

The next morning Rin left for school and on the walk home she was pulled into an alley way by Lucas. "Rin, what did you think you were doing stealing from me. You're gonna have to pay me back for that weed you took. And if you don't have the money you're gonna have to do some things for me" he said a coldness she had never heard in his voice. Rin looked up regretting ever meeting him. "I'll get the money…" Rin said fearfully. "No you're gonna have it in a week, I want 700 dollars you got that" he said "Its not worth that much, and I can't have it in a week" Rin said. "Well You'll be getting a rather unpleasant surprise then" he said holding a switch blade to her neck. He kissed her lightly, smirked and walked away.


	12. Regrets & PPD

talk about a long wait Rix here and I'm sorry about the story being on hold here's chapter 12.

Whatever

Chapter 12: Regrets & PPD

Rin fingered a ring in her pocket '_I can't this is my mothers wedding ring, the only thing I have left_' she thought taking her hand out of her pocket. It had been nearly a week, then Rin thought of Lucas. '_It had to be me to get myself into such a situation_' Rin thought sadly. Rin looked at the pawn shop and stepped in Rin looked at the heavy woman sitting behind the counter. Rin fingered through her pocket again and slid the ring out and onto the counter.

"300" she mumbled.

"Please its worth more than that" Rin pleaded the woman looked at her and her stomach

"450" she said "It was my mothers wedding ring" Rin said

"Well you should have thought of that before you got knocked up you slut" she said putting the money out and taking the ring. Rin took the money and got out of the shop, tears slid down her cheek. Lucas walked out behind putting his arm around her shoulder.

"Lucas leave me alone I still have two days" Rin said

"I know, but baby you make me so damn hard come on lets go to my car" he said pulling Rin towards his car.

"Stop Lucas I have to go to work, I'll have your money tomorrow" she said

"Shut the fuck up you dumb bitch" he said pushing her into the back seat of his car

"Stop I'm pregnant" Rin argued wanting just to get out of the car.

Lucas went to the front seat and drove to his apartment. "Hey listen I'll let you off easy, ok. Give me what you have now and I'll make a little video and then you'll never hear from me again" he said. '_Might as well what honor am I trying to defend now?_' Rin thought.

"Fine" she said. Three hours later Rin walked out of his apartment building.

The next day Rin walked into the school every guy wolf whistling at her, Naraku looked mad well actually beyond mad, he pulled her into an empty classroom

"What the fuck! I told you that you are mine! You little slut!" he yelled slapping Rin across the face, she smiled and then began laughing

"What everyone gets a piece remember?" she taunted

"You want to fucking laugh at me you goddamn slut," he threw her to the floor and pulled her hair up "I don't give a shit about you or that fucking kid, I'll take it and have it grow up to be just like me" he yelled. Naraku kissed her lips roughly and bit her bottom lip when she refused to open her mouth, her lip was bleeding, he locked the door with his free hand then threw her to the floor once again, Rin coughed sorry she even messed with him he lifted her skirt and pulled down her shorts and underwear. Then Rin relived her worst nightmares.

"Keep messing with me Rinny next time you won't be so lucky" he snarled at her fixing his clothes and putting his hair back in a low ponytail.

Rin sat on the floor crying her hair a mess and her clothes barely on. "Fix yourself" he said Rin ran her fingers through her hair and wiped the blood from her lip and fixed her skirt and shorts.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Two Months Later**_

Rin sat in Lea's apartment tears rolling down her cheeks, "Lea, I can't I can't keep it, I'm scared what if I don't love it! What if I can't love it?" she said her breathing sped up and tears kept coming faster,

"You can do this there are a lot of people who love you and your sister and me will help you I promise" Lea said

"I'm sorry Lea, I'm so sorry, I'm useless, I'm so weak, I don't want to live Lea, I don't want to live anymore, I want to die Lea! I don't want this baby to know what a bad person I am! I don't want to disappoint him or her" Rin cried feeling another contraction hit her

"Ok look your sister is on the way here, that baby needs you Rin, you need that baby, don't quit on it, don't you dare quit on that baby, or me, or your sister and what about your brother" Lea said. Rin bit her lip it was time,

"No, I don't want him here, please I don't want him to see me like this" Rin said noticing a certain golden eyed man in the hallway.

"Well he is going in with you, he insists" the nurse said. They began rolling her into the birthing room Sesshoumaru followed

"Why are you in here?" Rin said through gasps of pain

"I'm here for you Rin" he said

"You don't know how much I hate you right now" Rin said.

"Rin its time to push" he said ignoring her. Three hours later, Rin began to pass out while holding a baby girl with glittering red eyes and black wavy hair and snow white skin. Rin looked at her and started to cry

"Ms. Higurashi we are going to need a name?" the nurse said Sesshoumaru looked at her

"Rue" Rin said Sesshoumaru's eyes widened at the name it meant regret.

"Are you sure?" she asked Rin nodded as Sesshoumaru left the room

"Sess….I didn't….I didn't" she said then blacked out.

Two weeks later Rin was home and Kagome was godmother, she had moved back to the shrine. Kagome smiled at her sister while looking through Inuyasha's year book her eyes fell on Naraku, Rue was him just a girl version.

"Rin it was Naraku right?" she asked tears in her eyes Rin nodded.

Kagome hugged her sister tears running down her face. "I shouldn't have let you go over, I should have kept you home" Kagome cried

"You know I would have gone anyway, its not your fault" Rin said rubbing her back

"What about Sesshoumaru he should have taken you with him! He should have told you he'd get you at home" Kagome cried, Rin had never looked at it that way Not once.

An anger began to build in her. The baby started crying Rin looked at her and sat on the couch and put on the television.

"You have to take care of her, she's probably hungry" Kagome said wiping her eyes

"Kagome I'll do it later, I just don't feel like it right now" She said Kagome looked at her and then Rue

"feed her she's been crying since noon, she just fell asleep, its nine pm, Rin will you please feed her" Kagome pleaded with her, Rin got up picked up the child roughly and fed her then placed her in the crib just as roughly as she had taken her out.

Rin looked at her and she kept crying "SHUT UP!" Rin screamed only causing the baby to cry louder.

"Rin stop it!" Kagome yelled picking up the baby.

"Give her to me!" Rin yelled at her sister fiercely

"No" Kagome said Rin took the baby forcefully and burped her then put her in the crib

"I hate you! You're just like him you've ruined my life" Rin yelled tears streaming down her face.

Later that night Rin stood on her roof it was late she knew it would take only one jump to take her life.

Rue began to cry again as loud as she had before Rin climbed back in the room and changed her diaper roughly mumbling cruel words to the innocent baby.


	13. Confusion & Wake Up Calls

**Chapter 13: Confusion & Wake Up Calls**

Rin stood by the window her hand tightly gripping the edge. Kagome looked at the bags of exhaustion underneath her sisters russet eyes, tears began to form behind Kagome's eyes. '_This isn't fair I shouldn't have to be here for this, I shouldn't be taking care of her all by myself. Mom, I wish you were here' _Kagome thought holding the tears back as she walked away. Rin's sensitive ears caught her slowly retreating feet, she pulled back her now medium hair back in a ponytail reaching her collarbone. Rin climbed out of the window letting her legs dangle it couldn't be more than a fifteen foot drop. She brought her legs back into the room, and walked out of the house. It was late but Rin was becoming rash, impulsive, and rebellious.

She grabbed her jacket from the porch as she walked at a brisk pace towards the town center where she knew a lot of guys from school hung out after hours. There was one that she saw, Kouga, as she approached she walked up to him.

"Hey, do you want have some fun?" she asked seductively. His cerulean eyes looked her up and down, her post pregnancy body was just as toned as it was before she got pregnant.

"What kind of fun are we talking?" he asked with a smirk as he licked his lips ever so slightly. Rin bit her lip and raised her eyes to his entrancingly, he raised a brow. He grabbed her hand and pulled her against his body, she gasped a little. Kouga smiled at her shock as his lips crashed to hers, she hadn't experienced this kind of kiss in a long time, it was playful and gentle. '_Like Sesshoumaru's kisses only, not as warm_' she thought kissing him back equally as playful. Kouga put his hand on her back pressing her to him tightly. Rin glanced at him through one opened eye to see both his eyes were closed as he ran his other hand along her body. Soon they were in the backseat of his car, breathing heavy, and covered on sweat.

"You'd never know you had a kid. Rin, let's do this again sometime" he said throwing her clothes to her. Rin smiled slightly and began to put on the clothes that had been discarded in such haste.

"I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not" Rin said pulling her jeans on, they were struggling over each other to get their clothes on the right way.

"Take it as you will, it's your interpretation of my words" he said trying to sound intellectual, looking at her with a boyish grin, Rin smiled at him trying not to laugh at the fact that he put his shoes on the wrong feet.

"Your shoes are on the wrong feet, Later" Rin said getting out of the car, she of course never noticed the golden eyes that were burning holes in her back.

Rin walked home slowly, in her mind if she had more sexual partners she would think of Naraku less when he touched her and more about the others who didn't force her to do anything. Rin put a finger on her lips, as she sat on the shrine stairs, gold eyes watched her press the delicate finger to her lips, wondering what was going through her head.

"What were you doing down there Rin? With Kouga?" a familiar voice asked a little coldly, Rin looked down and shook her head.

"I haven't done anything that you would care to know, Sesshoumaru" Rin said not looking up at the silver haired boy.

"I'm not Sesshoumaru, I'm Inuyasha. What were you doing there Rin?" Inuyasha asked as she looked at him as if not fazed, she smirked at him.

"I don't believe that's any of your business, but if you want I'll show you" she smiled seductively at him.

"Rin stop acting this way. This isn't you, you aren't some common whore" Inuyasha yelled at her.

"This is me, I'm not sweet, little, straight a. Rin anymore. I'm just the whore, it doesn't matter whether I am or not everyone has the notion that I am might as well have fun right?" Rin said pushing Inuyasha.

"Rin, don't become what people think you are" Inuyasha said.

"I am only what he has made me" Rin said sitting down on the stairs.

"You are then, weak, pathetic, and never in control" he said angrily walking past her. Rin's eyes widened and she bit her lip, in frustration. '_He is right, but why don't I feel like stopping_' Rin thought. The next three months were the same; Rue grew fast yearning for her mother's love, all she ever saw were her mother's tired eyes, which had the images of things she should have never known, for she herself was a baby.

Rin walked out of a bathroom with Kouga; fixing her skirt unconsciously he pulled up his uniform collar to cover a forming hickey. Kikyou stood in the corner watching Rin, she walked over grabbing Rin and pulling her to the corner.

"What are you doing Rin?" Kikyou asked looking Rin in the eyes, she was exhausted, she had lost weight, late nights, working, school, these extra energy consuming activities. Not to mention she hadn't eaten in four days.

"I'm not doing anything, Kikyou. I have to get ready for gym then I have to run to work then, Kouga wants to hang out, then I have to go home and feed Rue" Rin said, Kikyou looked at her sadly.

"Rin, why is it you put your daughter last? What do you think you're doing sleeping around the way you are? Rin its like I don't know you" Kikyou said. Rin grabbed her head as her world began to spin, swirls of color soon became darkness as she dropped to the floor with a thud.

_Dream_

_Rin stood in a white room, a little girl sat in the corner blood her hands running from her arms, she was crying but Rin couldn't see her face only her wavy black hair. _

"_What's wrong?" Rin said but the little girl kept crying like she didn't hear her._

_The girl turned around with fear in her eyes as the room door opened, Naraku walked in and grabbed the little girl, he picked her up._

"_Daddy!" she yelled through her hysterical tears, her crimson eyes shut as she buried her head in his shoulder. _

"_What's going on!" Rin screamed loudly watching the scene unfold before her. _

_No one seemed to here as Rin's eyes widened with shock, she walked into the room, she was older. _

"_Rin, what have you done to Rue! I don't want her here with you! Look at what she's doing to herself because of you" he yelled_

"_It's your fault hat mistake wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. You hear that Rue, you ruined my life, no one ever wanted you! I hate you! I should have got the abortion when I had the chance! Go on finish yourself, it would be easier for all of us" she screamed,_

"_Shut UP!" Rin yelled. _

"_Daddy! I don't feel good" Rue sigh as her skin became pale and cold. Rue's body became limp and she died._

"_Rin you are a monster, look at what you've done killed your own daughter, what a monster you've become" He smiled at her dropping the limp body of their daughter on the cold tiled floor now covered in blood. _

"_NOOO! STOP THIS! PLEASE!" Rin yelled "I'm not a monster" she said_

_End Dream._

Two hours later Rin woke up in the hospital with Kikyou and Kagome beside her. Kagome held Rue in her arms the baby arms flew randomly in unknown directions as she reached for the shiny IV. Rin looked at them and grabbed Rue and pulled the baby to her tightly. Rue's big crimson eyes looked up at Rin '_I don't see Naraku, I see me, and my baby…I was so stupid, how could I be so stupid? Those eyes are nothing but innocence and what love, how could she love me, how could anyone want to be near me?_' Rin thought tearfully, she laid with the baby cradled in her arms. Kikyou put a hand on Kagome's shoulder and led her outside.

As they walked out Rin let a sob out crying like she hadn't for a long time.

**Rix – **Hey I am extremely sorry, about an extremely long wait. I will finish this I swear. I love you guys for reading this. Thank You For Waitng.


	14. Bad Habits & Guilt

Whatever

Chapter 14 : Bad Habits & Guilt

Rin was discharged from the hospital that evening at seven. She looked a little better but Kagome was taking a mighty lecture from the head doctor. Rin watched in silence while holding Rue tight to her chest. The three month old began to giggle lightly while grabbing a lock of Rin's hair. Rin touched her black waves with her soft fingertips before kissing the baby's forehead. Kikyou walked over to Rin with a small smile on her face,

"Rin, I hope I can trust that you're going to stop and become the good mother I know you can be" She said softly as Rin.

"I'm going to try...because I know Rue deserves better" Rin said more to herself than to Kikyou. '_I am so sorry Rue, I've been horrible but I don't know where I should start?_' she thought,.

"I hope she cleans up her act as well" the dark voice came from behind Rin. Naraku walked up practically snatching the baby from her arms.

"Come to Daddy" he smiled bringing the baby up to his face.

"I haven't seen this little bundle since....well never" he joked Rue reached for his nose and he made a face at her.

"Give her to me Naraku" Rin yelled, the whole hallway stopped to watch.

"Is it wrong for a father to want to hold his daughter for the first time" Naraku said. Rue giggled uncontrollably as he grabbed her hand.

"Give me Rue" Rin said repeating her desire in different words.

"I've all ready given you that, haven't I?" he whispered in her ear as he placed the baby in her arms. Rin was silent to his words, after all what could she do in front of everybody. She did after all name her daughter after the very word that meant regret.

"Naraku leave now" Kikyou spoke out loudly, her eyes were fierce.

"Shut up Kikyou, you're lucky that I don't smack you right here" he snarled at her.

"You are the scum of the earth" Kikyou said, '_Kikyou stop, just don't make him angry_' Rin thought as she watched Naraku walk away. Kagome walked towards the trio. She saw Naraku's retreating back.

"Rin are you alright?" Kagome asked looking over Rin's shoulder. Rue was reaching that way her little arms spread. '_Innocence is a curse, Rue. It truly is_' Rin thought as Rue reached for the father who was so cruel. Rue's glimmering red eyes began to fill with tears as she let out a whine of annoyance. Rue began to full out cry Rin bounced her lightly in her arms trying to calm the distressed child.

"Shh" Rin muttered as the baby cried. '_Damn it, why do you want him so bad? Why are crying for him? Stop it isn't worth it._' Rin's thoughts blurred her actions for a moment as she almost dropped the crying bundle. Kikyou cradled her between their bodies.

"Rin don't let him get to you. I know its hard but don't let him get to you. All Rue knows is that Naraku is her father every child that is born knows its father when they come in contact with them. Its in her blood." Kikyou told her.

'_That's right his blood runs through her veins as well as mine. She is his daughter, she is his baby, his....she is his..._' Rin thought. Rin held the baby for a second and then handed her off to Kagome who held the child.

"Rin, if anything like this happens again. The doctor is going to report me to child services. Don't forget that I am your guardian and that I'm responsible for you and Rue" Kagome said, she was feeling the stress of a mother already.

"I'm leaving, I'll be back in the morning" Rin said walking away from everyone. Rin walked to Kouga's house where they agreed to meet earlier in the day. Rin looked at him from a distance as she walked over to him.

"Hey, heard you fainted at school?" He stated it was more a question of truth. Rin nodded he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him as his lips bent to hers. Rin opened her eyes and saw through her peripheral vision the crimson eyes of Naraku.

"Wait stop!" she said loudly looking to the side where she realized there was no one there.

"There's no one around, do you want to go to my room or the car or yours?" Rin looked at him. A plan that seemed ok at first forming in her head.

"Lets go to mine, its about time that you met, Rue" Rin said to him.

"Alright, I guess" Kouga said scratching the back of his head, gold eyes watched the scene unfold as Rin climbed into his car. They watched as Kouga's arm was stretched to the passenger's seat, where Rin soon began biting her lip. The car soon left their view.

Kouga pulled into the driveway of the Higurashi shrine. He and Rin made there way into the house. Everyone was there Kagome, Kikyou, Inuyasha, Rue, and even Sesshoumaru.

"You guys know Kouga, and Kouga knows you guys" Rin said.

"Rin can I talk to you?" Sesshoumaru asked his voice was empty of any emotion as it had always been. Rin would never get used to this tone being used when regarding her. She couldn't even hide the slight flinch as he said her name.

"Its ok, Rin. I'll call you later" Kouga said walking out of the front door.

"Talk" Rin said to Sesshoumaru her eyes hardened.

"Upstairs in your room" he said.

"Why would I take you up to my room?" Rin asked him.

"Why would you take him to your room, all I want to do is talk privately." he told her with a bit of edge.

"Fine" Rin said walking up the stairs with him right behind her.

Rin walked into her room remembering how a short time ago this room was a bright blue, now it was black walls her sheets were leopard print. Everything was different complete opposite of what it used to be.

"Rin, when are you going to tell me what really happened?" Rin looked at him as he asked the question she knew she wasn't going to answer.

"It doesn't matter now does it. We aren't together You left me, I didn't leave you." Rin said in a mocking tone.

"The only thing that I know is that you opened your legs for my half-brother...that is the only thing that fits and makes sense with this whole story" Rin's eyes watered as the words left his lips.

"I...well obviously I thought you knew me...but you don't and your never did" Rin yelled at him.

"You won't give me anything else to believe" Sesshoumaru told her.

"It doesn't matter does it. I mean think about it I've already been ruined, I'm a teenage mother and whore. I've been branded by the best" Rin cried she looked up to see tears in Sesshoumaru's eyes, he grabbed her and pulled her into his embrace she cried.

"I don't care what anyone calls you. Just tell me what really happened and I'll believe anything you say. Rin you know....you know that I'm in love with you" Sesshoumaru said tears fell from his molten eyes hitting Rin.

"I'm sorry...I can't tell you" Rin said. '_I can't tell you, because I know you'll do something stupid and this heavy feeling in my heart is guilt for what I've put everyone who cares for me through_' Rin thought.


	15. He's In On The Secret & Spiraling Down A

**Whatever 15 **

**He's In On The Secret & Spiraling Down Again. **

It had been a few hours since Kouga had left, since she had Sesshoumaru had that small conversation. Rin looked out of the window and she could see Kouga was outside in his car waiting for her. Rin looked at Rue's crib the baby was watching her her glittering crimson eyes watching every move that Rin had made as she was sneaking out of the house through her bedroom window. Rin looked thought of the baby for a second before running to Kouga's car. He looked at her and she smiled at him, he looked at her with a smile as he put one hand on her upper thigh, his hands pushing past the material that was her skirt she sat back in the chair letting his legs fall apart for him. Rin moaned lightly as his skillful hand pleasured her. They reached the parking lot of the school where he and Rin climbed into the backseat as usual. The car was foggy and there was a knock on the window along with a flash light. Kouga rubbed a small spot in the window and Rin saw a gold eye before covering her face but it was too late. Sesshoumaru had seen her and he had seen Kouga and she was sure that he had noted that they were wearing nothing.

"I'll drop you off home, Rin." Kouga said Sesshoumaru was waiting for them to get out of the car when they switched from the back seat to the front seat. Rin got out of the car, and he grabbed her hand. Sesshoumaru looked into her eyes she saw the betrayed feeling in his.

"Sess...you...don't understand I feel" Rin said Sesshoumaru let go of her hand and walked away from her. Rin told Kouga to leave as she followed Sesshoumaru to his car. Rin looked at him sadly.

"Don't fucking talk to me, I don't want to fucking look at you right now...because the only word that is coming to mind is slut." he told her angrily. Rin stopped in her tracks at his words. There was a certain crimson eyed man there as well. He walked up behind Rin he grabbed her hand as she had been walking towards Sesshoumaru who just sat in his car. Naraku held her hand tightly she felt as if he were trying to break her fingers.

"What were you doing here with that bastard, Rinny?" he asked her angrily pulling her towards him. Sesshoumaru sat in his car turning the radio on high. Rin struggled to free herself from his grasp.

"I was giving him the time of his fucking life. Too bad you'll never get it like him." Rin snarled in his face, she felt bolder because she thought that Sesshoumaru would come out from his car and protect her from this evil man like her knight in shining armor.

"You fucking slut. You belong to me" he said and backhanded her roughly. She fell on to the gravel of the pavement, he kicked her in the stomach while she was down before grabbing her by her hair and pulling her upward. Her mouth was full of blood.

"Fuck you!" Rin told him he hit her again not allowing her to fall he forced his lips on hers and she realized '_He's not coming to my rescue, he isn't going to save me...I've pushed him so far from me and he's not going to save me._' Rin thought as Naraku's tongue plunged into her mouth, one of his hands going to her breast the other going between her legs he pushed her up against Sesshoumaru's car as he began to tug her panties downward. Rin began to let her tears fall down her face. Naraku pulled his manhood out an put Rin's legs around him as he pressed his hips into hers. Rin felt him in her she let the tears fall.

Sesshoumaru had his eyes closed and the music was so high he could hear nothing. He was pretending that Rin was still his innocent girlfriend who loved him sweetly. Rin's tears were falling '_I am the weakest and most pathetic person I'll ever know_' Rin thought as he pounded in and out of her, he held her arms behind her back. Rin felt him release, she felt the warmth that filled her, it was disgusting she wanted to tear away all her skin. The dirt that would forever be inside her, the filth that he filled her with. Rin sank to the pavement her legs were sore and she was in pain her head was throbbing and she could feel every little movement her face made, her lip was getting a little swollen where it had split open.

Naraku stood infront of her she was kneeling infront of him his hand on her head, he gave her that look as if he were daring her to bite him so she could see what he would do to her. '_I always piss him off, I should just let him have everything he wants...I'm sick of this pain...I'm sick of being forced, being hit, being humiliated, being in need of rescue but never rescued. I'm a failure... and I know I make Kagome, and Sess sick._ Rin thought as he moved her head back and forth she was behind the car her eyes squinted as he released, she tasted the salty goo that he emitted and she knew he would hit her if she spat it took all she had to swallow. He looked at her her bending down.

"Stop disobeying me...I don't want you to talk to that Kouga anymore and starting tomorrow I want to see my daughter everyday after school" he told Rin. Rin looked at him with pain in her eyes, all she could do was nod her head as she looked to the floor. "I like you a lot more when you aren't talking." he told her he pushed her to the floor with his foot and fixed his pants before walking in the over direction. Sesshoumaru looked in his rear view mirror and got out of the car. He saw Rin crying in a pathetic little heap on the floor, her clothes were in disarray. She sounded so miserable '_I hate my life, If I die everything would be so much easier for everyone. I could just be done with this sad life._' Rin thought bitterly as her body wracked with sobs she could feel every little bit of pain where bruises were beginning to form. Sesshoumaru froze as he saw her there was blood in the corner of her lip, blood dripping down her legs even though he very well knew she wasn't a virgin, and the side of her face was swelling. Rin let the sobs out freely when she noticed she couldn't hear the blaring music from the car. Her heart stopped as she felt arms pick her up from her waist and lean her against the car it hurt to move, to even remain standing. She sunk back to the floor, she didn't want him to see her like this, she never wanted him to see her like this.

"Don't look at me" she whispered to him as he looked down at her. Sesshoumaru felt tears pricking at his own eyes, his Rin was sitting there crying she had been attacked, raped so close to him and he didn't even noticed he couldn't save her, he didn't save her. His eyes filled with anger at the last person she saw her with, his half brother. Sesshoumaru picked her up like a child and sat her on the trunk of his car. She was breathing fast and heavily her eyes were red and puffy her hair was wet with her own tears.

"Stop looking at me!" she cried trying to cover herself. '_Why try to help me now? When its already too late._' Rin thought as he wiped blood away from her lip.

"Rin is this what happened to you that day, that afternoon?" Sesshoumaru asked her she looked up at him.

"Nothing happened." she said trying to stand up, she got off of the car barely standing and started limping in the direction. Sesshoumaru kicked his car tire.

"Stop lying to me Rin" he yelled at her grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. Rin broke down in his arms. She was crying hysterically, yelling at him to him. "You were right there, and you didn't do anything" "I want to die, I can't live anymore" "No I don't want you to look at me, Stop looking at me" "Please Just Stop looking at me" were the repeated request the angry and depressed words that left her lips. Rin cried hysterically into him he just wrapped his arms around her letting his own tears fall as his own body began to wrack with sobs. '_I'll never leave you alone again...I'm so sorry Rin all this time you were so strong_' he thought holding her tight whispering apologies to her he kissed her forehead while his tears fell on her. She eventually stopped crying and fell into a sleep that was anything but peaceful as on most nights her nightmares replayed themselves.

Sesshoumaru looked at her beautiful face, a purple bruise forming around her right eye her lip split open on the side, the bruises on her arms the dried blood that had been dripping down her legs. The pain she had dealt with. The things she had hidden. Sesshoumaru's eyes were still freely letting his tears fall down. Rin's nose had dried blood around he nostril a bruise also forming on her lip, he could see the bruises that were forming on the surface of her neck. Rin began thrashing around in the car crying out begging for someone to stop, begging please. It stopped before Sesshoumaru couldn't do anything. Rin woke up and he was infront of her, Kagome answered the door as Sesshoumaru was walking Rin up.

"I Don't want you to look at me! STOP LEAVE ALREADY!" she cried loudly Sesshoumaru tried to speak to her.

"Rin...please" Kagome pulled Rin inside saying this it was three in the morning.

"I don't want him to look at me Kagome, make him stop looking at me! Please why does he have to see me this!" Rin cried she was in a heap on the floor crying. Kagome mouthed an I'm sorry to Sesshoumaru before shutting the door. He sat in his car watching Kagome hold Rin who was crying she was trying to calm her down and Sesshoumaru began to allow his body to cry and wrack with his own sobs, before going home to the place where he lived with the man that had made her this way.

**Rix – I'm sorry guys well here is some good news, I'm engaged. Also I realize that Sesshoumaru is out of character but I think this is how he would react. Its a real reaction so. Thanks for all the reviews and support I finally hit 100 reviews I really love you guys. Izza says hi. **


	16. Confrontation & Fighting

**Whatever.**

**Chapter 16: Confrontation & Fighting. **

Rin was in Kagome's arms she was crying hysterically, the cut on her lip had reopened and began to bleed. Kagome was patting down her hair and rubbing her back. Kagome knew that Rin had secretly left the house now, she was disappointed but whatever happened it was extremely bad and knowing Rin she probably wouldn't be able to get it out of her tonight. Rin's eyes were swollen and she fell into a dreamless sleep. Kagome covered her with a blanket and rubbed her head, she had to get some sleep she was testing in the morning. Rue began to cry in her crib loudly. Rin heard her and stood up from the couch in the living room. Rue's wails were relentless as Rin just looked at her, her chubby little arms reaching for Rin. Rin picked her up and started to feed her when Kagome stepped in with a bottle. Kagome went unnoticed by the young mother. Rue was sucking away hungrily. Kagome walked backwards leaving the scene.

Rue looked at Rin with her big innocent crimson eyes. Rue looked at her mother's battered appearance. Rin looked down at the child who had finally stopped eating. Rin could feel Naraku's hands all over her as she looked into the crimson eyes of her daughter, who had began to start crying again. Rin quickly leaned the baby on her shoulder and burped her. It was loud burp Rin thought with a slight smile. Rin put the now drowsy Rue into the crib and set the small lullaby to play.

_"Hey there little one you make my world sunny. _

_the only thing that I'll ever love more than honey _

_You came to me in a dream before you let me have you. _

_I promise to love you, no matter what the trouble. _

_All because you are the only one who can light up my sky._

_With just that glittering smile shining in your eyes._" Rin sang, Rue fell asleep in the middle of the song. Kagome listened from the hallway, it was the lullaby that their mother used to sing to them. Kagome was four when she had heard their mother singing the song to Rin and there were videos that showed her singing it to both of them. Kagome felt tears in her eyes she cried a lot these days but she didn't let anyone know. She couldn't let Rin see her that way in fear that Rin would run off again. Only this time things would be different because she would take Rue with her. That morning Sesshoumaru was still awake he had been unable to sleep, and he felt as though he would never eat again, he couldn't get the image of Rin crying on the gravel out of his head. He opened the door to the bathroom where he saw Naraku brushing his teeth, Naraku glanced at his half brother from the side of his eye. Sesshoumaru clenched his fist tightly his nails beginning to dig into his skin. Naraku noticed this a smiled a little.

"What's wrong realize you ex is more of a whore than you thought?" he smirked haughtily after spitting the rinse from his mouth. Sesshoumaru growled and grabbed Naraku by his robe and shoved him up against the wall angrily tears started to sprout from his eyes again. '_Damn these tears_' he thought Naraku looked down at him and yawned.

"I have to get dressed, besides why have feelings for a girl whose fucked everyone but you..." Naraku said to Sesshoumaru. Inutaisho was passing by and saw Sesshoumaru shoving Naraku against the wall and could see Sesshoumaru's trembling fist.

"What's going on in here?" he asked his sons.

"You have no right to say that..." Sesshoumaru said letting go of Naraku's robe.

"You say that, but I will call her whatever I please...she did have my child after all." Naraku said Inutaisho had never known that Rin's baby was Naraku's he had never laid eyes on the child, his grandchild.

"you'll regret everything you've ever done to her..." Sesshoumaru said walking passed his father with out a word. Naraku straightened out his robe and walked passed his father as well and went straight into his bedroom. Izayoi walked into the hallway with a half asleep Inuyasha, she took off his clothes and forced him into the shower. Inutaisho looked at his youngest son with a smile. '_That boy will never be a morning person._' he looked at his wife and they quickly pecked each other on the lips.

Sesshoumaru stepped outside of the house without eating breakfast, and quickly made his way to Rin's doorstep. Rin was just leaving. Kagome had left earlier she had to test for college entrance. Rin's eyes widened as she looked at Sesshoumaru she was holding Rue, who was now nearly five months old. Lea usually watched her during the day when Kagome and Rin couldn't. Sesshoumaru looked at Rin sadness in his eyes.

"Rin, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you..." Sesshoumaru said to her she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Rue looked at him and began to wail.

"I'm sorry, I never told you...I haven't been able to feel anything but dirty, ashamed, embarrassed, and like a whore ever since that night one year, three months, two weeks, three days, and sixteen hours ago. All I could do to try to make myself feel like I wasn't there was watch the clock on the night table, the day and time is burned into my eyes. I'll never be pure, or clean again....I'll never be innocent enough...to be with you again." Rin said the tears making an escape down her cheeks. Sesshoumaru lifted his hand gingerly to her face and wiped them away.

"You are the strongest, bravest, and...purest hearted woman I'll ever know and I'll always love you, Rin." he said hugging her the crying baby was between their bodies and as she felt her mother's aura calm she to stopped her crying. '_How can you still love me?_Rin thought as his arms surrounded her. '_I'll never doubt you ever again. I'll never stop protecting you._' he thought taking in the smell of her hair. Naraku was walking by.

"What you're finally going to get a ride from the school bike?" he said Sesshoumaru tensed turned around and swung his fist at Naraku's face and clocked him right in the eye. Naraku hit the floor and grabbed his face and stood up lunging at Sesshoumaru. Rin backed away she had to keep Rue from seeing this. She didn't want Rue to see this violence.

**Rix – Hey guys this Chapter sixteen and this story is going to close in I think maybe four chapters because I like perfect numbers. It would be really awesome if we could get to 150 reviews. Please. Thanks. There may even be a sequel in the works for this. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed my story and to all of those who have added it to their favorites and alerts. It really makes me happy that my story  
has been heard and acknowledged. I just wanted to give an inside perspective of what someone who has been sexually abused goes through especially if they don't have the courage to tell someone that they need help. Thank you all.  
**


	17. To Lorin

_**I**_ don't have a fanfic account as _**I **_don't submit stories so can't login but _**I**_ think this story is greatly lacking in _**grammar**_, and _**I**_ have to re-read many parts of it to make basic sense of it. _**I **_wanted to give up on this story but _**I **_hate to walk away leaving it half finished.  
_**Having**_ worked with abused women who come from various backgrounds of this kind, _**I**_ feel much of this doesn't ring true and although _**I'm**_ not prepared to call _**you**_ a liar, _**I**_ do however think you need to reassess why you are doing this._** It's a little**_ unhealthy and mentally disturbing if you are lying, just to tug on people's heartstrings in the name of getting reviews.  
_**And**_ writing this and putting other people's names and faces in place to play out your story _**isn't**_healthy as you have kind of distanced yourself and put it all in what we call a third dimension and made it not real.  
_**And**_ finally..._**I**_ read this story elsewhere, exactly the same scenario with scenes very similar by an older, more experienced writer who has way more reviews for her _**superb**_ writing skills.  
_**I**_ think it's a little too unreal here. _**Rape**_ victims don't define themselves as rape victims, its one of the last things they reveal about themselves.

_**I**_ think _**you've**_ got some thinking to do.

* * *

Lorin – I have a few grammatical errors to point out to you. I have copied your review and I'm going to put everything I fixed grammatically in italics, bold, and underlined [including incorrect spellings.] First I would like to address what you have said to me which I find extremely insulting.

- I would never lie about something so serious or tragic.

- If you read this story elsewhere I have tried writing it before on a different account name it was hotstuff9807. That was also a long time ago. Maybe whoever you've read the story that has striking resemblances to my own was ripped from me by someone who has more writing experience.

- Keep in mind that it has been nearly six years since I was raped and I've been to group counseling and therapy for four years. My therapist is in fact the one who encouraged me to write this. I don't think you have a doctorate degree in therapy or psychology.

- Are you a rape victim that you know anything that goes on in our minds? Have you ever been forcefully held down and raped? I don't think so and I hope you never will be, but until you have you'd never understand me or any other victims that you think you do. It's different for everyone.

- And hey maybe you could send me the link to that story and hey why don't you take a look at the publish dates before you send it.


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